Thursday, November 12, 2009

GreenLit

We do this thing--Bryan and I. Netflixiosis. Where we rent seasons of shows at a time and devour them 3, 4, 5, 6 episodes a night. Our eyes crunchy and sag-bagged, he might turn to me or I to him--another?--and the other will nod even though the clock reads no more, the two of us hunched under our plush throw that pilled in the wash last year.

But that is not the thing. The thing that we do, it's like this: when we were renting The Sopranos we would watch them so densely packed that our days were colored Gandolfini. I would only sit if my back was against the wall. What? You want a fuckin' Whitman's sampler? Bryan would say to me apropos of Lucky Charms, and I would narrow my eyes because I am nobody's goomah. (When we were watching Six Feet Under I turned corners in my car and thought of spackle, and then there was the week of Weeds when we giggled. Breaking Bad was very bad, every decision ending in yo', Californication with oh dear, things I cannot, will not ever mention.)

But that is all in the past, some of those realities since cancelled, the rest waiting in our queue like costumes. Now we are watching Season One of In Treatment and at night Bryan turns to me and asks wanna' go to therapy? I nod my head yes, yes, of course, we need this, Laura who only breathes out of her mouth, Alex, thin Sophie, god how we hate Jake and Amy. Why are they even together? Our hands meet in the bowl of popcorn; together we rumble GAIIIIINA when Dianne Wiest comes onscreen.

In the day I wonder why we do that. What does it mean? Pronouncing Gina Gaina, ceci n'est pas une pipe, all the world never just a cigar from a couch with its own waiting room. When Bryan calls to tell me he's running late he follows with and how does that make you feel? This man who I usually think of as my silent Indian.
The thing is with this thing we do: there are things that may or may not be Things. Because lately Zoey has been blinking. Which is good, of course, fine, normal. Blinking. But Blink. Ing. And again. Blink. Ing. Kind of exaggerated. Kind of a lot. Have you noticed--and Bryans says yes and we tell each other not to call attention. Of course if this were a week when we were watching The Sopranos I would think she was being disrespectful; Weeds? Three years old and totally stoned. But we are not saturated in those shows now but this one, and I wonder why it is so important to me that I know why my daughter is suddenly opening and closing her eyes.

When I consult our family physician, Dr. Www, I am assured that it's common, exaggerated blinking in toddlers. A transient tic (or a brain tumor, good thing Six Feet Under is four years gone). Not to worry. When I tell my mother she reminds me that I stuttered as a child. I remind her that I grew up to be a woman with severe anxiety.And so we try not to notice. (And how does that make you feel?) Today at the park my friend told me that her husband thinks I am creating a mini-me. Does that mean he thinks I wear leopard ears in public and only pink? I asked, and we laughed. But the thing is I already created it, her. It's a wrap, and I am left to study her until my eyes go dry thinking of articles I have read in waiting rooms.

Images found here.

22 comments:

Kwana said...

Love this post. I'm with you. Also way too influenced by what I'm watching on tv and have been known to watch an entire season in a day. Recently did that with Caifornication and now can't lose the images and am stuck on MI-5 so the world is conspiring against me.
What a mess I am. As for the hubby, he refuses to be sucked in. Very annoying.

Gini said...

LOVED Breaking Bad. The only one of these series I haven't devoured is Californication. Great post, prose-y through and through.

Sharon said...

I have recently discovered your blog and I am so happy I did. I have a 3 year old only a few weeks younger than Zoey so I relate to all your kid-related posts. Anyway, I have gone through the renting of whole seasons of shows and watching them back to back. I get completely obsessed, can't stop watching them, think only of when I will make time to watch the next episode, etc. "The Sopranos" was especially consuming. (I've still never recovered from Adrianna being knocked off.) Another series for you to try is "Big Love". Thanks for your blog.

jennifer said...

HA. my hub & i do the same. we ditched the tele when we had kids so we watch in uncomfortable chairs at my computer when they've gone to sleep. fun times!

Anonymous said...

We totally did the same thing during the Sopranos. Had to stop watching for awhile because we were becoming so fucking foul-mouthed.

Duel Living said...

My husband and I rent series too. When he brought home "Rome"...I was like WTF? But...it was awesome! "The Tudors" is another great series that I highly recommend. "Big Love" and "Dexter" are great too. And one of my all time favorites..."Band of Brothers".

The Lil Bee said...

I love that you do this. We watch 48 Hours and 20/20 and ID so much that Paul has dubbed the house Fort Knox; I won't go to sleep until I've double checked every lock in the house, and sometimes I'm convinced "they" are bugging the place. I need to get hooked on something a little more upbeat I think!

pillow mint said...

SO glad we're not the only ones! we just last month discovered CSI. We now dvr any and all CSI's and watch them one after another.
...and then I go through the day thinking my life will be a crime scene. my trash isn't just trash, it's evidence. and knowing that all the hair in my car would be perfect for dna analysis.

Benson said...

you should not watch Deadwood...every other word of your vocab will be f*ck or c*cksucker or motherf*cker. And hello...I teach elementary school children :) I am the queen of control.

Ana said...

You do know that its a compliment when we say you are creating a "mini-me"...right? what would the world be with only ONE Susannah????

loveyou

Erin said...

Were you watching Big Love when you came to visit me back in Chico?

Petunia Face said...

Oh yes, we watch Big Love, Dexter, Entourage, True Blood (wherein we walk around yelling SUUUKIE!). I can hardly watch network tv anymore.

Ana--I know it was a compliment :)
Erin--Yes, I was totally in my own world of Big Love when I visited you which is why I thought you were my sister-wife sans sexy time with your husband.

Simply Mel said...

I love that your family physician is Dr. Www! Awesome!

We just watched the entire John Adams series, and this made Sean constantly ask me (his Abigail) to lend my pen as his thoughts....

Anonymous said...

From Jackie-Chan Look-alike:

Nube and I started watching Dexter 2 days ago. I'm seriously considering becoming a serial killer.
Congrats again on the job, Susannah. I mean Hepzibah. :)

my favorite and my best said...

yes. i share this disease with you. affected syndrome.

goodniteirene said...

Seriously, I want to rip Amy's pug little nose right off her bitchy, British face! Please tell me you've watched "Damages"? If not get it in your queue immediately. So dang good.

krista said...

i think i'm creating the anti-me. and i suppose that's good but then i wonder: why the necessity?

i used to do this thing when i was a kid where i would inhale...with noise about every three or four breaths. like a grunt or something. i remember doing it and i remember not being able to stop doing it. and then it went away.
a transient tic.
that should be the name of your first novel with the books between your cheeks picture.

Rosalie said...

Greg and I did this too--the marathon nights of TV watching. Nothing was as bad as Dexter during chemo and surgeries--the dreams I would have. Oy!
R

Good Enough Woman said...

Love this post. What happened when you watched "Lost"?

Elaina said...

My husband and I have had many a date night over at my parents' house watching 3 or 4 or 5 Entourages "on demand" (sigh. no HBO at our place.) And I love how you described the mental immersion. Also, on the blinking thing - my 3yr old daughter had the exact same thing a while ago, and we took her to the doctor where they referred us to a pediatric eye specialist. The blinking soon went away, so I ended up canceling the specialist appt. I have friends who had the same thing with their girls and it went away too.

Petunia Face said...

Zoey had her well-check appt yesterday and I asked the pediatrician about the blinking. He assured me that it's relatively common and passing, not to worry.

Krista--he did mention other passing tics like the throat clearing :)
Elaina--they checked her eyes and all if fine. I think it'll go away on its own.
Good Enough Woman--I actually never watched Lost. Couldn't get into it. Which might be a good thing considering I might suddenly hallucinate monsters and what all.

xo,
S

Maggie May said...

lalala love this post!