Thursday, October 8, 2009

Where i Is the Imaginary Unit

First there was this. I mean after Barbie and Bratz dolls, Calvin Klein, Guess and every other dollar and cents-less marketed toward women and girls. And I kept quiet because the jeans are cute and I was busy watching The Hills, wishing Kristin would at least try to stop smirking when saying a line so that I could go about my life pretending everything was real. But then came this and I felt stupid. I mean, really? How can they make it so painfully obvious and expect me to believe that Audrina still cares who Justin-Bobby fucks and that the diameter of this girl's head is larger than that of her pelvis? Who do they think we are when Stephanie Pratt's nose job reverts itself back and forth within the span of one drunken early-20's night and good god this pic makes me only crave more nutella on toast with butter--
We live in a time without true meaning. Homemade pie! boasts the menu at the chain restaurant, and when somebody says that they could care less it means that they actually DO care. It's confusing, like the other night on The Rachel Zoe Project when Rachel said she literally died, she literally vomited, she literally felt like a cow about to moo, and yet--there she was, at the end of the show, alive. Seemingly not a cow that had either vomited or mooed and I was more than a little disappointed. Who knew? Back when I was having terrible panic attacks my dad told me not to believe everything I thought and he was right. Still, the airbrushing can fuck a girl up, this knowing that nothing is really real and then some. Arbitrary objectivism, noses that shrink to a cute button over cocktails. Can't a girl just buy a pair of jeans without her head falling off?

Apparently not, which is why I am going to show this video to Zoey every morning after she watches The Backyardigans. (She must know that in reality Uniqua is a drab shade of puce.)

23 comments:

Cindy said...

Not enough time to tell you how much I love everything about this post. I often feel so fat and ugly. And I'm not fat (so much) or ugly! But I am 43.

xo

arollerskatingjam said...

Thanks for this, I too think it's something important.

I worry about this daughter I am bringing into this world already, and she's not even here yet.

my favorite and my best said...

sigh. thank you.

Geli said...

My 14 year old has seen this video already, but at this age they still succumb to these type of "role models". In Germany, one of the biggest women fashion magazines will stop using models starting in 2010 for their fashion shoots. "“The Hamburg-based title published by Gruner+Jahr plans to choose from readers who register online and staff members based on their meaningful qualities other than their dress size. Attractiveness has many faces,” editor of the bi-monthly Brigitte Huber said in a statement."

It would be nice if American magazines could follow this trend.

Kendra plus 2 said...

Rachel Zoe needs to eat a cheeseburger.

mosey along said...

My sister has taken my nieces to a few of the seminars Dove runs and says they're terrific.

pillow mint said...

we had an anorexic waitress the other night. my husband had the nerve to ask me how i knew she was "anorexic". if he couldn't tell by looking at her *emaciated* body, the peach fuzz on her arms should have given it away.
and for half-a-second, i wished i was that thin.

Simply Mel said...

I've bookmarked the video for the crumb to view in a year or so....sadly.

3StinkyBoysAndMe said...

What an amazing video! I had NO idea! Women are so hard on ourselves and that video really shows that not even models are as pretty and perfect as models. Amazing. Thanks for the post.

Joie Marie said...

Brilliant, effing brilliant. A friend introduced me to your blog a week or two ago and helloooo, I am your new stalker! I keed, I keed. Seriously, thanks for telling it like it Tee Eye Is. I'm hooked.

P.S. And I thought I was the only one who knew what those ignoramuses were really saying (or not saying) with their snarky, "I could care less" declarations.

muranogirl said...

Just emailed this to my teenage daughter. The secret needs to be let out!

Robin said...

Those photos are sickening. They don't even look human!

Have you seen this before & after of Faith Hill on Redbook?

http://bit.ly/btyWy

Anonymous said...

wow. I used to enjoy your wry angst tinged blog entries but give me a break. cheer up already. things are just not that bad.

Cathi said...

thanks for posting this...magazines breed insecurity and low self esteem.

Petunia Face said...

Hi all,

Thank you for reading :)You are all awesome. (Literally.)

Anonymous--Things ARE just that bad as I am fairly certain you just shit in my vagina. (See Tuesday's post).

xo,
S

Up Mama's Wall said...

That Ralph Lauren ad makes me so so sad for everyone and especially for my daughter, because in the 25 years since I was a teenage it hasn't gotten any better.
I'm going to eat a cookie down. Double chocolate chips.

Meghan M said...

It's amazing to consider that the manufacturer of Dove is also the manufacturer of Axe body sprays. Two sister companies with very different messages!
I'd like to think that Dove actually cares, but I guess ultimately it comes down to selling the right message to the right target market.

Jules said...

YES. The "I could care less" phrase has always bothered my analytical personality. I always make a point to say couldn't which makes me equally douchey, actually, but in a different way. Sigh.

p.s. Anonymous...really?

Anonymous said...

My 15 year old is the one who first brought this campaign to my attention, she thought it was brilliant, but she also said that she thought all boys/guys should watch this as well.

Anon: Yes- things really are that bad.

Becky O. said...

I am literally chiming in here (bells are on my toes as I write, ha ) as the mother of three boys, they get to see this too. Often boys get left out of image issues and I've been schooling my guys in the awesome power of movie magic / photoshop since they could blink.

Lolo said...

It is important, no matter what some people say, to push back against unrealistic and unhealthy body images for our kids. I used to earn my living in commercial photography and it helped me love my looks. When you see how so many professional models and actors look like when they stumble into the studio it opens your eyes to the fact that many of them don't look like the finished product.

The ones that do look like dewdrops on rose petals? I just pretend they've got warts on their butts.

Riviera View said...

okay, that, was amazing. I was with them until they started the contortion process. yikes.

Pink Wallpaper said...

WOW. that is powerful.