In what may have been the scariest moment of my Halloween thus far I said yes to Zoey when she asked if we could have a costume party.
If I had any time, this would be my costume: a woman pulling it out of her ass. (So what if this is swirling more out of her vagina than anywhere else? As long as it comes from somewhere I'll take it.)
Fuck it. I realize the cool thing to do here would be to complain about a house full of kids amped up on sugar, but you know what? I'm excited. Sticky finger spiders and kids who do not yet know how to truly cackle. My house comes prefab with cobwebs and all that's left to make is the cupcakes!
Happy Halloween, my treats. May you find sticks of gum and clean shiny pennies nestled in the spookiest of bare-limbed trees.