Now here's a video that makes me feel downright incompetent. Get this--this woman can breastfeed her baby while standing on her head and doing the goddamn splits, while I could just barely feed Zoey a few drops of breastmilk while sitting on my couch with a baby blue Boppy and kneading my boob that never once got engorged. (And before you get all Fenugreek on me, believe me, I tried it all. Mother's Milk tea, blessed thistle, alfalfa, La Leche League on speed dial, I choked down Guinness, turned around in circles three times under a full moon and hooked myself up to a hospital grade pump while staring at my tiny baby that just wasn't thriving. The low point came one day while Bryan was at work leaving me at home with a very new Zoey. I sat on the couch where it seemed I had not moved since returning from the hospital and I held tiny Zo with her little smurf face and wept over a Nick Lachey video. A Nick Lachey video. I'll let that sink in. You know the one? Where he is breaking up with his lady friend as she gradually fades away from the house? Somehow I knew that Nick Lachey being half the man he thought he would be was intricately connected to me not being able to breastfeed, that these were both signs that the earth was surely dying and I called Bryan at work absolutely sobbing. In hindsight, perhaps I suffered from a touch of post-partum depression, I don't know.)
Good god that was a long paranthetical ramble. So here you are:
Something tells me Zoey turned out just fine, though, despite all that formula she ingested from bottles fairly swimming in BPA and oh-no-she-di'int. Because here is my little yogi chanting her own made up mantra of Om something something peace! Namaste for roughly two seconds (the time it takes a three year old to fully meditate):
On a side note: I just watched the link of that Nick Lachey video and is something wrong with me? Did my hormone levels never return to normal because fuck me if that doesn't still bring a tear to my eye.
Om something something peace (out). Happy Hump Day mothersuckers.