Now this. This is why I don't have a dog. This and the fact that a dog will stare at you unabashedly while pooping, the barking, that little lipstick thingie on boy dogs and the way they like to lick your face (the dog, not necessarily the lipstick). Growing up I called myself a dog person. I knelt down next to strange dogs on the street to give them a scritch. I wanted to be the kind of girl who drove a Jeep Wrangler and lived in Colorado. I wanted to be a dog person. But as I get older I realize I really don't like to be licked in the face. The sound of a dog barking makes my face itch and I have never been to Colorado although I imagine it is beautiful. (The closest I ever got to driving a Jeep Wrangler was when I was 18 and had a Volkswagen Cabriolet which is just the other end of obnoxious.) *I like cats. Cats cover their poop; I have never had a cat hump my leg although if it did you know they would do it gently and quite possibly while using a British accent.
Anyway, this. Happy Hump Day.
*Them's fightin' words for dog lovers, so please know this: I don't hate dogs. I don't even dislike them. I just mean that if there were a civil war and the world became divided into canine and feline, I would have to don me some kitty whiskers. But right now I take dogs on a case by case basis. True, I don't like the neighborhood dog I have never met but hear bark all afternoon, but I might like him if I met him. As long as he didn't splay his legs right in front of me and go to town on applying his lipstick.