Wednesday, May 6, 2009

In Which a Leaf Falls in a Rainforest Somewhere and My Boob, It Itches

I have made no qualms about my palms being hairy. This is a blog, after all. In person I may act all sheepish and modest, aw shucks, sshhh, sure, lil' ol' me. Yet everyday I sit here as if I have something to say. Which is in equal measure both mortifying and thrilling. I mean, check this out: I put my bras in the washer and dryer. Thrilling, right? I mean, I don't even fasten the hooks! Or place them into a lingerie bag! I don't use the gentle cycle! Who the fuck cares, right? And yet, there you are. You know. At the end of this day approximately one thousand people will know that I wash my bras in the regular ol' wash. (Oh, I know it's terribly gauche to mention readership numbers, but come one. Bish, plz. This is someone who does not use mild detergent.) So, yes. I am not important in the grand scheme of things. The state of my breasts does not determine pandemics or what Anderson Cooper does or does not say. If I exhale right now a leaf may fall to the ground in a Brazilian rainforest but that's about it. And yet here we are, this space, this blog, a tiny nook in a fathomless coded universe of exponential w's where I can say what I want as if it matters. I wash my bras right alongside my towels and love nothing more than to pick my nose in the dark of 3 o'clock in the morning. Life is good here. Thank you for coming.
And then there's this: The Blogger's Choice Awards. Where a leaf falls in a Brazilian rainforest, an indigenous Amazonian woman from the Nadöb tribe may blog about said leaf falling and win the Hottest Mommy Blogger Award. This is where each of our tiny nooks becomes a cranny and we matter that much more. Which is to say not much, but one of these days Anderson Cooper will get word and surely he will say something about us. You. Possibly me. Who knows? Today I am wearing a nude bra riddled with pills. You and 999 other people, baby. In. The. Know.
So yeah, I'm not important, but I'm okay with that. Still, I would be much obliged if you moseyed on over to the The Blogger's Choice Awards and voted for me. I was nominated for Best Humor Blog, Best Pop Culture Blog, Best Parenting Blog, and Hottest Mommy Blogger. Although if I were you I'd totally vote for the Nadöb chick on that last one. She doesn't wear a bra at all.
Click on the above links to vote. Or don't. But thank you very much for reading.
Happy Hump Day!
xo,
Susannah

17 comments:

Aartee said...

ooh fun! I'll go over and vote :)

Vanessa said...

Daaamn, Hottest Mommy? Nice! You've got my vote! I couldn't imagine voting for anyone else.

Jen said...

I voted! And I wash my bras in the washing machine and drier too! And I don't care!

Molly said...

Been there. Voted. You deserve to win them all.

E Chuod said...

Aren't you SUPPOSED to wash bras in the washing machine? I thought you just take whatever was dirty, stuff it ino a machine until you can cram no more. And call it good. What do I know??

Robin said...

Well deserved...I just voted for you. Also tried to nominate you for The Blogitzer award, but you are only allowed to be in 4 categories.

michele in Raleigh said...

been there, voted!

Geordy and Pete said...

fantastic
so glad it worked out!
x

JackeeG4glamorous said...

Jealous, who me? You betcha! You deserve all the accolades my friend. BLOG ON!

Lolo said...

Which one do you want to win? I'll vote but only in one category cuz that's just how I am. Lazy.

I wash my bras by wearing them in the shower and soaping and squeezing the cups repeatedly until they're cleeeean, all clean.

~e said...

I heart your blog! Voted on all counts!

Patois said...

Dang, look at all them awards you're up for!! I'm thankful you still let me read you.

Lara said...

Check, Check, Check and Check! Who doesn't wash their bras in the washing machine??

Samantha said...

Ok, wait. Gauche or not. Tell me about how you got to 1,000 readers a day. Like, how did you go from emailing your mom about your new post to having 1,000 people unrelated to you tune in of their own accord?

Petunia Face said...

Geordy and Pete--thanks so much for telling me I was nominated (and for your help in me locating it!)

All else--thanks for your votes! :)

Samantha--the only advice I have to get readers is to comment on other people's blogs. Most click through to find your blog, and voila! A relationship is born. Ish. You know, sometimes not.

xo all,
S

jane said...

1,000 readers a day?! wow. you need to make some money off this deal-i-o. really.

Kat said...

Oh my GOd, you made me laugh so hard I couldn't even finnish reading.
Wait, does finish have one F? Am I finished or Finnish? I don't even know, but I know I think your blog is super cool :D.