I have made no qualms about my palms being hairy. This is a blog, after all. In person I may act all sheepish and modest, aw shucks, sshhh, sure, lil' ol' me. Yet everyday I sit here as if I have something to say. Which is in equal measure both mortifying and thrilling. I mean, check this out: I put my bras in the washer and dryer. Thrilling, right? I mean, I don't even fasten the hooks! Or place them into a lingerie bag! I don't use the gentle cycle! Who the fuck cares, right? And yet, there you are. You know. At the end of this day approximately one thousand people will know that I wash my bras in the regular ol' wash. (Oh, I know it's terribly gauche to mention readership numbers, but come one. Bish, plz. This is someone who does not use mild detergent.) So, yes. I am not important in the grand scheme of things. The state of my breasts does not determine pandemics or what Anderson Cooper does or does not say. If I exhale right now a leaf may fall to the ground in a Brazilian rainforest but that's about it. And yet here we are, this space, this blog, a tiny nook in a fathomless coded universe of exponential w's where I can say what I want as if it matters. I wash my bras right alongside my towels and love nothing more than to pick my nose in the dark of 3 o'clock in the morning. Life is good here. Thank you for coming. And then there's this: The Blogger's Choice Awards. Where a leaf falls in a Brazilian rainforest, an indigenous Amazonian woman from the Nadöb tribe may blog about said leaf falling and win the Hottest Mommy Blogger Award. This is where each of our tiny nooks becomes a cranny and we matter that much more. Which is to say not much, but one of these days Anderson Cooper will get word and surely he will say something about us. You. Possibly me. Who knows? Today I am wearing a nude bra riddled with pills. You and 999 other people, baby. In. The. Know. So yeah, I'm not important, but I'm okay with that. Still, I would be much obliged if you moseyed on over to the The Blogger's Choice Awards and voted for me. I was nominated for Best Humor Blog, Best Pop Culture Blog, Best Parenting Blog, and Hottest Mommy Blogger. Although if I were you I'd totally vote for the Nadöb chick on that last one. She doesn't wear a bra at all. Click on the above links to vote. Or don't. But thank you very much for reading.
Happy Hump Day!