Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Mission Accomplished!

Operation Big Girl Panties began months ago, and yet, much like the war in Iraq that supposedly saw the end of major combat operations in 2003, not much movement has been made on the Potty Front, and major poop operations have ensued on the changing table, (and in the car), (and yes, at the park), (okay, on the floor, too), (and maybe on the living room couch, as a warning to anybody who might visit--sit on the white couch, not the green one).

And yes, I did just compare the war in Iraq to my daughter potty training, but let me reiterate that while I do not endorse the war that is indeed still very much a war, I do support the soldier that is still and always will be a soldier. Phew. Okay, back to pee pee and poo poo. So yeah, panties: check. Dora the Explorer 3 in 1 Potty: check. Elmo It's Potty Time! DVD: check, check and check 1001 times for how much we have viewed that particular piece of cinéma vérité. Still, up until yesterday, there was nothing much to be said about potty training. Diaper insurgencies were the order of the day (and night). Zoey was simply not interested.

So I, too, lost interest. I had kind of resigned myself to the fact that I would forever be changing her diaper. I thought, well, yeah, sure, I can swing by her high school between classes, throw her down in the girl's bathroom and do a quick shuffle, (no) ball, change. At the same time I can make sure no one is smoking in the stalls! That's like Mother-of-the-Year material right there! And then I thought, oh! And what a nice way for her to get to know her college dorm roommate. They can share a box of stale Wheat Thins while watching The Real World: Dubai, and then her roommate can change Zoey's diaper! No problem! It'll be a bonding experience! Like getting wasted together and holding back your roommate's hair as she pukes. I will send care packages of Desitin and cookies! Mother-of-the-God-damn-Year, I tell you. I was not one to force it.
But then yesterday happened, and the enemy suddenly stumbled from the cave, blinking in the bright sunlight of a pair of rainbow-festooned Hello Kitty undies. It was a fluke, really. The panties had been pushed to the back of Zoey's drawer, like a box of tampons in a pregnant woman's cabinet. They must have fallen out somehow while I was doing laundry, and Zoey pounced on them immediately. Are these mine? My big girl panties? Of my very own? As if I hadn't given them to her months ago, as if I were somehow squealching her development, My Sweet Audrina without the creepy subtext. And with that she took off her diaper and stepped into them, demanding more, more panties, more Hello Kitty, more rainbows, more underwaries! And so I got them all out, and after she peed in her potty she bundled her underwear in her arms and slept with them in her crib, a lovey of underpinnings.
This morning she opted for a pair emblazoned with Dora, her rump practically non-existent without the cushion of a diaper. And I am left to wonder: could it be this easy? Mission Accomplished from an aircraft carrier, thumbs up in a flight suit and bombs away? Or will there be yet more guerilla warfare, covert and rife with casualties?
"We do not know the day of final victory, but we have seen the turning of the tide." --Dubya Bush.
And yes, I did just quote George Bush in my blog. But let it be known it is a post about poo.
Good luck, and God-speed, though I never understood what that meant.
All images from Man Babies. Yes, poo, Bush and Man Babies. The End.



19 comments:

Arlynn said...

Congrats Petunia Girl, hope you stick with those rainbows & Doras : )

Hopefully there will be no more Elmo DVDs, I just don't know how you did it!

Best wishes for a forever potty,

A

Petunia said...

Only you could figure how to put Bush and toilet training together in the same post! Brilliant.

Jen said...

I hope its that easy for you! I was hoping it would be that easy for me, too, but so far no such luck! Yay for Zoey and her big girl undies!!!

Jessie said...

When I read the first sentence of this post, I thought that Operation Big Girls Panties was the title of your first novel, and I got RREAAAAALLLLLLY YYYYYYY excited.

Just thought you should know.

AAAAAAND if that ends up being the title... you can thank me later. :)

JackeeG4glamorous said...

OMG, the pictures! I howled, but also, I gave you credit for being such a Photoshop pro! Then the credits...well, keep working on those photoshop skills.

I thought my daughter was going to get married in Depends...but alas, she's finally trained. (She's 26)

Ana said...

I am keeping my fingers cross that the potty training sticks...
BTW, congratulations on another set of disturbing pictures...
What's wrong with you woman?!??!?!


hey, park this afternoon? we are heading straight from school.

Erin said...

That's awesome! And it gives me hope about my own potty training adventures with a 2.5-year-old.

Those pictures gave me the creeps.

Minxy Mimi said...

HAHAHAHA
Not even MCQueen bib boy undies has worked for us! Good for you!

zakary said...

Yay for Zoey!

Claire said...

Zoey's story sounds eerily like my Evie's story - she has firmly rejected the diapers (3 weeks and counting!), and we still have a few accidents occasionally. But they all seem to be happening at daycare... shortly after I drop her off... do you think that potty training is psychological???

Good luck. It's not the most fun part about parenting, but I hear it's WAY better if the child initiates the process! Good sign for you!

s. said...

Ah, Miss Z - yay on moving past babyhood! Just please don't grow up too quickly.

Vanessa said...

Whoa, exciting times! Congrats to the big girl and may she have many more days on the toilet ahead of her.

pat t said...

congratulations to you and zoe!
And those pictures- ugh - so very disturbing
To me. Here's to dry days and dry nights!
My son trained easily- even at night because
He hated the heavy bulky scratchy pull-ups!

Patois said...

Here's to many clean panties!

Jules said...

I think those pictures are what belongs in the toilet. Good grief those things are creepy. Especially the portrait one. And the walking one. Hell, all of them.

The war isn't over until there is poop in the toilet. If she hasn't done that, you may still have a fight on your hands, soldier. Having said that, congratulations are still in order. :)

monkey said...

you make me want to cuss out loud in front of strangers.
these photos along with the premonition of real world:dubai??
genius.

I am Trish Marie said...

Oh Petunia, I think Bush and toilet training make perfect sense together..but that's just my opinion.

Good luck with the potty training!

Aartee said...

Hooray for Zoey! On the other hand these pictures kind of freak me out!

Sschraed said...

I had the same thing happen with my april 2006 daughter :) 2 weeks ago and we are good now on going number 1. She said she is not ready to go number 2 yet but hey I will definitely take what I can get. LIke you, I was thinking I was going to be changing diapers FOREVER ! Here's to no more diaper changing!