Of course if I am honest with myself (and look back through old photos) I am forced to also remember this:
Ladies and gentlemen, I am going on vacation. You know, if you call a road trip down the coast of California with a toddler "vacation." And if you do, I hope you save room in the suitcase for your ball gag and nipple clamps. Because if you think six hour stretches of driving on I5 with a two year old is relaxing, you are one sadistic motherfucker.
We are road tripping down to San Diego and then up to Santa Monica for my brother's wedding where Zoey will rock a flower girl frock of black taffeta, bedazzled with a sparkley rhinestone brooch and princess glitter slippers. You better believe I will harass you all with photos upon our return.
But not to worry, mama's taken care of you. In my absence I have lined up a star roster of guest bloggers, a veritable who's who of who I secretly want to be. First up, we've got this hot blogging chica. Then this lil' bit of sass. If anyone can get you through your hump day it's her. This saucy lady will go next. And finally this one, way to end the week right. I honestly think the week I am gone will be the best week of posts on my blog ever. Seeing as how it will all be so exciting and new, I thought I'd introduce a special guest star on Saturday, a non-blogging mama with a lot to say. (Oy. And I do mean a lot.) Think of this blog as The Love Boat and she as Charo, all flash and glitter, rapid fire words with a shake shake shake.
Secret's in the sauce, dear readers, secret's in the sauce. You'll have to tune in next Saturday to find out who this very special guest blogger will be. Coochie Coochie! As for me, I'm outta' here! Wish us luck. And when I return you are all cordially invited to sit at the Captain's table (where I will serve Kraft mac and cheese, you know, the bunny shaped kind? On account of it will be a special occasion reunion episode and all).
Missing you already!