Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Big Dreams in Little Bathrooms

As a small child I wanted a monkey. Who doesn’t, really? I also wanted a twin sister, blond hair, a banana seat for my bike and to be locked in Baskin-Robbins overnight to feast on all the bubblegum ice cream I wanted without having to save the sucked on gumballs in a napkin for later. Little me dreamed big.
In having Zoey it seems I got the monkey. She is the Bear to my BJ, my trucker’s buddy, but not the kind you pee into on a long haul. She is my high-pitched comic relief with a limited vocabulary and teeth the shape of Chiclets sweet.

This past weekend Zoey suddenly showed intense interest in her potty. Of course it was just as we were trying to leave the house to catch the ferry to Angel Island, but when a two year old says she wants to sit on the potty your world stops, you miss the boat, the movie, the dinner date, and you wait. In my case, you wait sitting on the toilet next to her. Zoey wanted company, so I—ahem—sat on the big girl potty. Our bathroom is so small that her knee rested against my ankle. I peed. She farted. Good job! And when I was done I stood up to button my jeans. No mommy! You sit down, and she patted the rim of the toilet. So I sat back down. But I’m done, I tried to explain. I don’t have to use the potty anymore. Zoey studied my face, crouched down small on her Dora potty like a sculpture by Rodin, and then smiled up at me. You can do it! Mommy! You can DO it! And for a split second she sounded exactly like Rob Schneider in Waterboy. You can DO it! It is this kind of unequivocal support that kills me, the love my daughter has for me even while trying to poop. This is why people have kids, and it is worth more than all the blond hair and banana seats in the world. This is my new dream, to be cheered on while sitting on the toilet, the dream I never even knew I had.

20 comments:

Robin said...

I have told you this before, but it is worth saying again (and again and again), you and your Zoey stories make me so excited about motherhood.
The dream you never knew you had...love it.
R

karey m. said...

and don't you hope she never loses that?

i probably say it too much, but i love this making people job.

hej said...

A piss-ripper good post. You go, girl.

Fifi Flowers said...

You are the first person who I have heard likes the bubble gum ice cream from 31 Flavors... love that stuff and they don't always have it... I have to say... I don't think it's the same... but hellooo, isn't that tru about a lot of things?

Courtney said...

My favorite story ever! This just made me smile really, really big. I love lil Zoey!

Jen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jen said...

Leah peed in the toilet for the first time on Saturday, and we were so excited we went right out and bought her Dora underpants. Since then, she's sat on it once, farted, said "good job Leah" and that was it.

Exciting times, I tell you...

Mindi said...

oh. my.

i just found you, and i can tell this is going to be a problem. i might just be your newest, biggest stalker.

don't be mad when you find me at your house trying to collect hair from your shower drain. to make little hair versions of you.

you rule!! i've not laughed this hard for a while.

i'll beeeeeee baaaaaaaaack.

The Lil Bee said...

I love how the little monkey farted...such camaraderie!

Jules said...

So sweet. :)

Misplaced Country Girl said...

I think you may have a future motivational speaker on your hands. Great story!

Jill said...

Potty training is one of my least-favorite chores... though I too would do just about anything to help encourage my girls go where they're supposed to!

Of course, now that you're peeing in the same room together, how much fun will it be for both of you to poop together? Yeah... then your entire neighborhood will know because your daughter will be so proud of it... kinda speaking from experience.

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful, funny story!After a horrible day, somehow this just made me feel better.
Thank you!

JackeeG4glamorous said...

Having once lived the ice cream dream (first job=ice cream scooper at 31 Flavors!) I feasted on the hard, frozen bubble gum that couldn't quite make a bubble, but didn't stick to my colon either (good segue into the potty story, it all came out in the end)

To hell with the monkey, give me BJ anytime. Whatever happened to...

I *Heart* You said...

my entire family is pitching in to help my niece transition to the potty. elmo's potty time dvd is a true work of art. i wish you and Z tons of luck in this department! just think, this was her first group trip to the girl's room and it was with her mommy! how special!!!

Anonymous said...

Did you know that BJ went on to play one of the Dad's in My Two Dad's (only the best show ever). He was the artsy womanizer one. It's funny how that show couldn't really play these days. Two men living together raising a child. No, that's a totally different show.... Well, anyways, I wonder (I don't have kids) but when that all happened- what do you do? Do you just sit back down and give it your best?

Petunia Face said...

I loved My Two Dad's! And he was the WAY better father. The other one was uptight and annoying.

As for what I did when Zoey told me I could DO it? Well, I did it. I sat back down and tinkled just a little bit more. It really is surprising what you can do when your kid is cheering you on!

Anonymous said...

Aw..Such a good Mommy!

bakingwithplath said...

Aww, I really loved this story. It made me smile. All of your posts about Zoey make me feel all fuzzy inside.

And I suppose this is my offical de-lurking comment, coming out of the closet or lurking den or wherever it is that lurkers lurk.

I love reading your blog!

Leah said...

You crack me up! I'm right there with you... potty training is soooo comical :)