Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Princess Stinky Slippers

Zoey has found a new love: her gold beaded Princess Slippers. She wears them with everything: jeans, sweats, skirts, dresses. Most of all she wears them with attitude:

My own little Commie Pinko rockin' the Slippers of the Peoples' Princess.

Lately the obsession has taken a turn for the worse and she insists on sleeping in them. Now I know that as the mother I am supposed to have the power in this relationship, but have you ever tried putting a two year old to bed without something she thought she would certainly die without? No? Okay then, have you maybe snuck inside her room after she's fallen asleep to take that item out of her crib? Then have you been awakened at 3am to the blood-curdling rage of said two year old when she realizes the item in question is no longer on her person? That while dreaming of applesauce and the free balloons at Trader Joe's she has been stripped of her possession? Her obsession? Yeah, I think not. Because there is nothing like waking up at 3am to a full-fledged toddler tantrum over PRINCESS SLIPPERS! MY PRINCESS SLIPPERS! WHO TOOK MY PRINCESS SLIPPERS??? If Zoey yet knew how to curse I'm sure she would have done so like a tranny sailor upon realizing some pirate somewhere has made off with his princess boo-tay. WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY GODDAMN PRINCESS SLIPPERS??? I swear her voice dropped a few octaves just like a pissed tranny caught off guard.

I have taken to stretching them on over her footed pajamas on chilly nights. Which is better than warm evenings when she wears them sans socks. Hot days are the worst. Those gold beaded princess slippers? They stink like the old sneakers of a twelve year old boy who does not yet realize hormones have staged a coup on his body. I mean, I never knew a two year old could even have toe jam before the Princess Slippers entered my castle.

But this? The sight of Princess Slippers crowning the toes of two legs soft as sticks of thick butter?This sight is well worth twilight tantrums and the stench of Princess Stinky Shoes, My Maiden of Gilded Butter and Glimmering Toe-Jammed Gems. This sight is mine. --

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wait til she outgrows the shoes, then you're in trouble. I hope you have an extra pair.

My two year old has to wear a hand-me-down yellow ballet outfit. She wears it to bed too. The only time I get a break from it is when I tell her it's dirty and put it in the wash for a couple of days.